An Open Letter to Anyone Whose Shamed People in Lost & Found Pet Groups
Call me weird, but one of my hobbies is trying to find lost dogs. It’s a hobby I started years ago, after my own dog Carter went missing for a week. He took off after a transformer blew up in our back yard, and I can’t even count how many hours I spent searching for him. In that instance I got lucky; I got my Carter back. My story had a happy ending.
But that was one of the most stressful weeks I’ve ever gone through, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. If there’s any chance that I can help find a lost pet (or at least help network ones in my area) you can count me in.
Full disclosure: Laika and I haven’t actually found any lost dogs in real life. That’s probably because she’s not an actual search dog, and I’m not an actual search handler. But hey, we try. While my search skills in person might not be the greatest, my internet skills have proven slightly better. I’ve helped reunite 6 lost pets through cross referencing groups, craigslist & shelter sites. Am I changing the world with this hobby? Well, no, not on any large scale. But for me it’s one way to use spare time that feels meaningful.
I even created a big list of Michigan Lost & Found Rescources so I (along with anyone whose lost a pet in Michigan) can have a handy list of lost & found groups in one place. If you’ve ever googled “lost pets in (insert location here)” you’ll understand why I created it to begin with. It turns up hundreds of individual sites & groups that may or may not be helpful at all. In other words it’s a hot mess.
So I spend a lot of time on lost & found pet groups, hoping that I can help in some way. And of course since it’s the internet there’s always drama. Why does there need to be drama when it comes to lose & found pets? Hell if I know. The internet brings all sorts of trolls out into the open. So today I thought I’d address those morons.
An Open Letter to Those Who Shame People on Lost & Found Pet Groups
Apparently we need a quick reminder about the purpose of lost & found pet groups. They’re a place to post lost & found pets — simple as that. They’re not a free for all group where you can get your jollies off by shaming others.
Luckily the moderators of these groups are generally pretty quick about deleting your nasty posts (which is why I don’t have screenshots). But I still see them, and they still piss me off every time they’re posted.
Since you’re choosing to ignore the guidelines of these groups I’ll take this moment to elaborate further on why you need to take your shaming elsewhere.
They Are For Helping Others, Not Shaming People
Lost & found pet groups are for helping others. They’re for finding lost pets, not shaming others. It’s clear from your posts that you believe anyone who has lost a dog is irresponsible. Perhaps before I lost my own dog I would have agreed with you. But after my own experience and seeing it happen to others I’ve realized that sometimes shit just happens.
My dog Carter took off from my backyard years ago. We were playing frisbee when the transformer that I’d never paid much attention in the very back corner of our yard blew up. He was gone in an instant. He took off as fast as he could and kept on running. Luckily for me my story had a happy ending. A very nice gentlemen found him and called us via the number on his collar. We got him back after a week, and it’s a week I’ll never forget.
If you’ve never spent hours walking & driving along every road within a 5 mile radius of your home desperately calling for your dog and praying that you don’t find him on the side of the road let me tell you — it’s not fun. This was before the internet was a big thing, so we were stuck with canvassing and making fliers. The whole process leaves you emotionally drained. It’s such a hopeless feeling, and every day that feeling just gets worse.
So when I see people shaming others in that same situation I get pissed. I know you’re just looking at a photo of a lost dog on the internet, so you don’t have any real attachment or feeling towards it, but to me it’s personal. When you keep leaving “why wasn’t your dog on a leash” comments you can be sure the only thing you’re doing is hurting a person whose already suffering.
Not Every Dog That Gets Lost is Due to an Irresponsible Owner
Some dogs take off following a car accident, some get stolen, some with anxiety issues break through windows & escape. Not every dog that gets lost is due to an irresponsible owner.
I understand that in your own mind you think posting “Why are so many pets getting lost? So many irresponsible owners without leashes on their pets, it’s sad” after every single listing of a lost pet is going to help. Or maybe you’re thinking that your super important awesome message will somehow stop pets from getting lost in the future. I take that back, I don’t actually know what you’re thinking. You’re just being a dick.
What I do know is that your message is irrelevant when it comes to finding a lost pet, and it’s just making people in a horrible situation feel even worse.
It’s like telling someone whose house burnt down that they should have had batteries in their smoke alarm. First, you have no idea why the fire started. And second, fires start for various reasons; they don’t just spontaneously happen when a fire alarm runs out of batteries. Sometimes shit just happens. Maybe the pets who got lost had leashes on, but that certainly doesn’t mean they can’t get lost. Dogs with leashes attached get lost too.
You’re telling someone that they should have done A to prevent B. But the problem is B already happened, so your point is moot.
You Don’t Know The Whole Story
So remember if you’re in a lost & found pet group these people have lost their pets for all sorts of reasons. You don’t know the whole story, so don’t go making assumptions & waving you’re mightier than thou stick. These people have lost their pet and they’re seeking help — there’s no reason to be a dick.
If you think anyone whose lost a dog is irresponsible fine. You’re entitled to that opinion. But just remember for a second who your “stupid people keep losing their pets” comments are being read by.
One of the recent nasty comments I saw was directed at a woman who was stuck in the hospital with a broken pelvis. She’d gotten into a bad car accident with her dog when he took off, and she was trying to get him back by any means possible. She had her friends searching along the interstate while her family searched all the local shelters. And as they did that she was posting in every lost & found group she could find. Unfortunately her story didn’t have a happy ending. Her dog was found deceased a few days later.
Are you happy you left that nasty comment now? Did that burn get her real good? You don’t know the whole story, and your nasty comments aren’t helping anyone. The only thing your comment proves is that you have nothing meaningful to do in your spare time.
I know it’s the internet, and it’s really easy to be a dick, but please stop shaming people who are asking for help. You might think you know it all, but you you certainly don’t know their whole story.
Be Nice to People Asking For Help (Or Don’t Say Anything)
People on lost & found pet groups are asking for help. They’re desperate to find their pet, so follow the golden rule of being a decent human being. Don’t comment if you don’t have anything nice to say. Don’t kick people when they’re already down.
I don’t know why these comments bother me so badly. I know it’s “just the internet” and they’re “just trolls.” But it hurts. I’ve lost my dog, and the hopelessness I felt was horrible. And I know if I’d received a bunch of nasty comments about how irresponsible I was I would have felt ten times worse — even if they’re from some random dickhead on the internet.
Amen!! Before I started my blog I spent a lot of time following lost and found FB groups in my area. I even spent time searching for lost dogs, virtually and physically. My heart broke for those that never found their dogs, and soared for those that did. None of those people did anything wrong, they may have made a mistake, or as you said, shit can just happen.
I’ve screwed up and my dogs have gotten loose and run off. Luckily they came back or we found them. It can happen to anyone, and I can’t imagine kicking someone when they’re down like that. Didn’t everyone’s parents teach them that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all? Why is it that the internet seems to give people free rein to say everything they think?
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who has spent time looking for lost dogs. I just don’t understand why something as non-controversial as a posting on a lost & found group can make someone decide to post something negative.
AMEN! Cupcake was lost for two weeks. Shit happens. We worked hard to get her back.
Thank you for being the voice for those with lost pets.
As a person who is currently searching for my lost dog, I understand the heartbreak. I didn’t even lose him. He was stolen, dumped, found, then supposedly lost again. The finder tried contacting me on a phone number that was on his tag. Unfortunately, that number was to my iPhone,which was stolen at the same time as my dog and my truck. By the time I was notified that he’d been found, the finder claimed that he” took off a couple days ago…so I still haven’t been able to find him If you don’t know the situation, you should just either try to help or shut the hell up.
My dog has also been stolen she took him out of a vehicle where he was being taken care of by another person while I was in the hospital
Excellent post. I think sometimes people post stuff blaming others just so they will feel superior. I hope your message reaches the guilty.
Thank you. It’s just hard for me to imagine that after hearing a few stories of how dogs get lost someone might not have a little compassion & just decide to keep their mouth shut if they don’t have anything nice to say.
Such an important post, Jen. I’ve only lost my dogs for a few minutes throughout my life, and they were always in sight or I had a good idea where to chase after them. Still an awful feeling, but I’ve never had a dog truly missing and I can’t imagine. And I will say, of course this can happen to anyone!
Ugh, the internet makes it so easy to shame anyone for anything. For some reason the ability to hide behind a computer and never actually see someone, makes it very easy to be a dick. I’ve probably done my own share of dickishness too, but I try not to.
I’ve lost Delilah before. Sometimes from my own error (letting her off leash, or dropping the leash) other times a workman has left the gate open, or yeah, there was that one time we had so much snow that she just stepped over the fence. Luckily for me, she was quickly found. I just can’t imagine one of my dogs being lost and someone being an ass. I might have to go backwoods hood rat on their ass.
Great points! Empathy and compassion should always be our first reaction. In a related way, I am sad to say I was once quick to judge people who were re-homing dogs on forums like Craigslist. Sometimes people have no other options, and sometimes, it really is better for a dog to go elsewhere. As you say, I try to remind myself now that I don’t know the whole story.
I am very perturbed because MY PUPPY was hit by a car and i took him to pima emergency vet in Tucson az, they would not work with me at all and wanted me to pay a down payment of 900$ and because i could not pay that amount they forced me to surrender my baby to PACC (PIMA ANIMAL CARE CENTER) please help me get my dog back
My dog went missing in July if this year and I posted on every website and everything you can think about I report her missing turns out that my parents sold her to the neighbor well this lady I went and try to get my dog back and she won’t give me my dog she said that it’s her she changed her name and I’ve been trying to do everything I can to get it back
It is important for pet owners to ensure that their fur babies have collars with contact information, rabies tags, make sure that vaccinations are current and take a current photo to post on social media.
Create a lost dog action plan and have it ready for action.
We love dogs better than people. Dogs love with no boundaries . Their love is free. Good luck with lost pets.
Thank you. As a parent of a kitten that was not microchipped that got stolen from my front yard i jave been bashed repeatedly for mot giving a hoot enough to get her chipped. She has been lost dince Labor Day of last year and not a day goes by that i do not miss her and kick myself for letting her out. I was called stupid irresponsible and a host of other wonderful names to shame me. I applaud your post and am happy you were reunited with your beloved dog.
Hi i need help. Ive lost my sons dog. Its a labrador retriever. His name is kyros. He has been missing for a month now. I am so upset. I dont know what to do.
Here’s a link with some tips for finding a lost pet: https://www.petfinder.com/cats/lost-and-found-cats/lost-pet/
I’d also recommend searching facebook (there’s a lot of state & county specific lost & found pet groups) and craigslist.
My dog Casper was stolen 01012019. He is a white and gray fixed Male a little over 2 years old. I miss him so much. If ther 8s any way you can help that would be greatly appreciated. He is a pit bull.
I am currently actively searching for my lost shih Tzu. I have checked the shelters I have walked up and down the dog kennels. I have posted online I have posted flyers and I am driving around talking to neighbors. I am also use g a very loud whistle and call I g his name. I am at my wits end. I need help. There have been some eighth h8s of him running around the neighborhood burmtno luck catching him. He has one eye. He is my little girls emotional support dog. Please help me if you Can make any suggestions.
San Bruno, CA 94066
Same as Patricia Brown. I lost my cat who I didnt have microchipped. every day I wish I could have the chance to go back and do things right. he disappeared on March 3, 2019 and still continue to look for him today.
I didnt know how many shelters and rescues there were out there til I srarted searching for my buddy. Its been over 5 months and Im still finding new ones.
Here are some lost and found sites and rescues that you can look into that might help you in your search.
Pawboost
Petfinder
PawMaw
Local and county Animal Control
Humane Society
SPCA
Lost and Found Pets of America
Facebook ( when I started lookingt on facebook it lead me to a lot of local and nearby sheelters and rescues.)
Look at anyplace you can that has to do with animals.
Dont just look at the lost and found, you should also look at pets that are up for adoption
And of course you should go on foot to canvas your neighborhood.. For Cat owners ( Im not sure if dogs react the same ) Ive read that scared or injured cats tend to stay close to home and most cats have been found within a block or 2 of their homes.
**Important : No matter how much your cat loves you , if it is frightened or injured chances are good that they wont come when you call them . you need to get permission from your neighbors and actuallly look in every nook and cranny on everyones property, Under porches and houses. In the bushes and under decks and patios. Anywhere they would be able to fit.
These are just some of the things Ive learned along the way in my search for my cat Freeway. I wish I had known about a lot of these things sooner then maybe I wouldve found him .
But if this helps anyone in thir search it was all worth it. Best of luck to everyone who has lost their pets. I hope you have them back home and safe with you soon.
Sorry about all the mistakes in my post. I didnt notice them til after it was posted. My apologies
I am glad you posted this. I am a member of Microchip Hunters. And we spend countless hours trying to reunite Hoomans and pets. I also tell people to post their animals on Lostdogsoftexas (if in Texas) Lostdogsofamerica.com etc
Don’t judge, you never know. The same thing when people FIND an animal battered, dirty & bruised. This doesn’t mean it was abused by it’s Owner. It could have been stolen and finally gotten away. But people are so hateful. It’s like we love to hate!!!!
I just found my daughters dogs that got out by my granddaughters and almost a month later did we found a post that the wife of the guy that picked them up blocks from the house and took them home 45 minutes away.He was going to keep the puppy and lied to his wife about not having a chip.Some people are not good!!! Lucky for us his wife is a good person and put up a post.This all happened in the Forest Hill area and he was on his dirt bike.He lived in Elk Grove.